


You've Got Mail

by Teddy_Feathers



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Emails, Gen, Multi, Online Friendships, Social Media, self indulgent, we'll see what I can do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-05-19 08:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19353445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teddy_Feathers/pseuds/Teddy_Feathers
Summary: Yesno, lives behind a computer screen.





	You've Got Mail

_**Kitten Wiskers** _

Site tools FAQ Introductions Adoptions Resources Playdates Help

* * *

 

**Adoptions**

Greenwitch Maine Coon Kittens [NOT A BREEDER] (1,2,3)

Barn Cat to a Loving - But Distant - Barn (1,2)

Ferguson is Friend Shaped (1,2,3,4,5,6,7)

ADVENTUROUS BOLD MIGHTY KITTENS OF QUALITY

* * *

  
**ADVENTUROUS BOLD MIGHTY KITTENS OF QUALITY**

 **Breed:** SUPERIOR  
**Sex:** NEUTERED AND SPAYED RESPONSIBLY  
**Color:** BEAUTIFUL  
**Age:** THEY HAVE SURVIVED THEIR FIRST YEAR UNDER THE SUN  
**Vaccinations:** ALL OF THEM OBVIOUSLY  
**Hair:** THEY ARE COVERED IN IT YES, AS IS OUR CLOTHES, OUR FURNITURE, AND MOST ANNOYINGLY THE BROTHER THAT HASN'T MOVED IN TWO DAYS

**Adoption Process**

There are THREE stages _if_ you wish to be WORTHY of Doomfanger's litter!

First you must answer my riddles three.  
Then pass through the Gauntlet of Deadly Terror to prove your worth.

Email an inquiry?

* * *

                                                                                                                                                                                                           Sept 22       

**[Y/N] > Xx\GREAT_and_TERRIBLE/xX**

* * *

 

Hey Great,

Color me interested - I'm looking for a companion cat and obviously couldn't pass up on such paragons of catdom, so sign me up.

What are your riddles three?

Breath Deep,  
Yesno

 

* * *

  **( 13 )**                                                                                                                                                                              Oct 3

 

**Xx\GREAT_and_TERRIBLE/xX > [Y/N]**

* * *

 

IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I DO TO THE SPEAKER!

 

It is this Angel forsaken holiday. Honestly, I do not know if it is worse to hear the average moron go for the most low hanging fruit of humor and think themselves witty regurgitating something that has been said ad nauseam by every fool with two brain cells to rub together, or to hear some real genius discourse on whether or not Actual Monsters have ruined Halloween. A ten minute google search shows that humans ruined it long before we broke free of the curse that held us in bondage and if MY BROTHER DOES NOT STOP BUYING SKELETON MERCHANDISE AND LEAVING IT ABOUT FOR ME TO FIND I WILL MAKE HIM REGRET THE DAY I WAS EVER BORN.

 

Thank you for your continued updates of the kittens. Those pictures are the only saving grace of an otherwise unsalvagable month.

 

I told you all six would be the ideal companions to bring surcease to your lonely life.

 

Your Aggravated Acquaintance,

Great

 

* * *

 

 **( 25 )**                                                                                                                                                                                               Nov 27

**[Y/N] > Xx\GREAT_and_TERRIBLE/xX**

 

* * *

 

All I'm saying is that there's something special about "certain natural phenomenon" that's worthy even of the high standards of someone so Great and Terrible.

... But the History of Magic lesson _was_ appreciated even if you were just being a pedantic ass, so thank you.

 

I mean, even you've got to admit that after a long hard day

when you're sore but satisfied with your progress

and have no major concerns for the  following day

and you're clean and dry

in your most comfortable sleep clothes

and the rain is coming down

and you're curled in your clean sheets with a blanket fresh from the dryer -

 

Even you have to admit there's something _magical_ about that level of peace and contentment.

 

* * *

 **( 50 )**                                                                                                                                                                                Nov 28

**[Y/N] > Xx\GREAT_and_TERRIBLE/xX**

* * *

 

 

 

ffs

okay fine

_you win_

you don't have to admit anything

and i wont reference anything ever again

 

whatever

 

* * *

 

 **( 51 )**                                                                                                                                                                                                   Dec 29

**Xx\GREAT_and_TERRIBLE/xX > [Y/N]**

* * *

 

 

Dear Yesno,

 

~~I was reflecting upon the past year and the inherent challenges~~

 

~~Perhaps you, like most humans, are ignorant of the fact that Gyftmas and Christmas do not share a date or even a spiritual relativity~~

 

I wish you and the kitten squad Steadfast Will and Victory in All your Endeavors this Gyftmas and for the coming year.

 

Stay Determined,

 ~~Papyrus~~ Perhaps less Great than Terrible

 

* * *

 

 

 **( 52 )**                                                                                                                                                                                                   Dec 31

**[Y/N] > Xx\GREAT_and_TERRIBLE/xX**

* * *

 

 

Hey Great,

 

Thanks for the new years resolution.

 

Talk to you next year?

 

Your friend,

Yesno

 

 


End file.
